![]() ![]() He told the professor, “If I can hit a golf ball into that cup from here, will you give me an A?” The professor, amused and curious, agreed. He knew his professor was a golf lover, so he came up with a scheme. The Math Exam: A young college student was having trouble with his final math exam.Fido, how does sandpaper feel?” “RUFF.” The bartender roars, “Get out of here!” As they’re walking out the door, the dog turns to his owner and asks, “DiMaggio?” ![]() The bartender says, “You can’t bring that dog in here.” The man replies, “But this is no ordinary dog, this dog can talk.” “Listen, pal,” the bartender says, “if that dog can talk, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.” The owner looks at the dog and says, “Fido, what’s the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from getting inside?” The dog answers “ROOF.” “Listen, pal…” the bartender starts to say, but the owner interrupts, “Wait, wait… he’s not finished. The Psychic Dog: A man walks into a bar with a dog.As he’s about to ask the parrot what’s caused this sudden change in attitude, the parrot continues, “May I ask what the turkey did?” I’ll endeavor to correct my behavior.” The man is astounded. The man opens the freezer up, the parrot calmly steps out onto the man’s outstretched arm and says, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. He hears the parrot squawking and kicking for a few minutes, but then all goes quiet. After a few hours of this, the man finally gets fed up and throws the parrot into the freezer to teach it a lesson. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. The Talking Parrot: A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot.
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